Spring Break

Day 29- Aquarium. Of course I'd want to go somewhere really warm with a pool for Spring Break, but we opted for a few short day trips with some friends since the weather here is not being very spring-like. We kicked off the break with a visit to the Aquarium. It was a lot of fun. There were sea turtles, sharks, jellyfish and the kids loved the penguins. Aaron was the only kid brave enough to touch the sting ray. The boys made "Flat Stanleys" in their 1st grade class and got to bring them on their spring break adventures. If you look close, you can see Aaron and Collin holding theirs in the picture.

Day 30- Sushi. Earlier in the day we took the kids to an indoor pool with slides and larger pool. The kids had lots of fun, but I was freezing! The water was not very warm and I ran away to the sauna for a while. You'd think they'd have warm showers afterward, right? Nope. Ah ha! I spotted a hand drier! Broken. Aughhhhhh!!! I was so happy to get into my warm clothes! The highlight of the day was going to dinner with just the girls and then shopping afterward. We went to Tepanyaki and Erin tried to get Erika to try Sushi. It was hilarious! Let's just say the sushi never made it all the way down. We laughed so hard. Shopping was so fun too. Gotta love Kohl's discount coupons!

Day 31- Picnic at the Park. I forgot to take a picture for this day... I don't know why. The kids and I headed to visit Grandma and Grandpa. We went to the park and let the kids run and had a picnic. It was fun to just relax and visit with them and let the kids be outside. Aren't my Grandparents the cutest thing you've ever seen?

Day 32- First flower in my Garden. I guess maybe Spring really will get here. At least that's what this Daffodil is telling me. I love bulbs because they just spontaneously come up without me doing anything. I can't wait till my tulips start blooming. I love this time of year!

Day 33- Moto training. Davin loves to ride his motorcycle and Jas set up a little "course" with balls for him to practice tight turns. He's a pretty good rider, I just don't really want him to race. I worry about him getting hurt. Do I sound like a Mom or what?

Day 34- Collin's 1st tooth. Collin was sure he'd never lose a tooth. Aaron had already lost two and he just kept waiting for the day when one of his were loose. Well, the day came. He was so excited to find a gold coin and a teeny, tiny note from the tooth fairy in the morning.

MRI and Colonoscopy Results-

I will post this here because I don't want to re-hash it 45 million times to every person I know.

The colonoscopy was hellish, and that is being mild. The prep was awful and we arrived at the IMC at 9:15 a.m. for my MRI. Well, apparently the Endoscopy Dept and Radiology are on the same floor but even with the X-ray requisition form, the attendant missed noticing that I had an MRI first and I guess we were in the wrong wing of the floor. We waited and waited and there were SO many people there so we just figured they were backed up. I wasn't feeling well and they could see that so they tried to get me back faster. I sit down in the prep room and the nurse says, "Okay, lets get ready for your colonoscopy." I couldn't hold back the tears as I explained I was supposed to have the MRI first. I guess their computers aren't linked and they didn't realize (even with the x-ray requisition on top) that I had two procedures that day. I totally missed my MRI!!! I'm sure they wondered why I was there at 9:30 for a 1:30 colonoscopy. That would be the first clue. We shouldn't have waited so long and verified sooner but we were in the radiology dept, right? Anyway... I wanted to punch someone and cry. All of the nurses were so indifferent and snotty too. One told my mom, "Don't stress over things you can't control." We had one angel nurse that found us a quiet spot to wait while I finished drinking my prep in record time. They rescheduled my MRI for immediately following my colonoscopy. It was one of the worst days of my life. The prep was awful and can you believe that the colonoscopy dept. does not have any Tucks, Prep H, or even Vaseline for a flaming bottom?! Inconceivable. The colonoscopy went well and I was so grateful for sedation since I felt so awful. I hadn't eaten since Sunday night at 7 p.m. It was clear liquids after that and I was SO hungry. (It was now Tues. afternoon) Right after the colonoscopy I went to MRI. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't just been through the ringer but I was still a little sedated, starving, in pain and miserable. The colonoscopy came back great. My colon looks awesome. Yeah. Give me something to EAT!!!! We got out of the hospital as fast as we could. We had been there for about 8 hours total. Ugh. I got a kids meal at Mimi's and it was delicious. Then I paid for it the rest of the night with the worst gas and abdominal pain- ever. I would have rather had a child, seriously. Anyway... that was that. I never want to do that again- ever.

The doctor called with my MRI results yesterday and the news was less than encouraging. My liver is very enlarged and has "innumerable" lesions on it. I have swollen lymph nodes in the abdominal area as well. This is the cause of the distention in my stomach and the fluid retention. I also have a little fluid in my one lung, not sure what that is from. I'm getting the full report sent to me but that's pretty much what he said. I guess it's good there are no tumors in my intestines, kidneys, stomach etc. The pancreas still has no tumor on it but there is tumor pushing right up against it. The only thing I wonder is that they are comparing to an August 2009 scan because that was the last one I had at an IHC facility. The others are at Huntsman. I wonder how it would really compare to the April 2010 one in contrast. It is what it is, I guess.

I am obviously upset and don't know where to turn. I have started a new protocol with high doses of vitamin C, but I've only been doing that for 3 weeks. I guess I will just keep doing what I'm doing and try to hope for the best. Even with the bad results I feel "strangely calm" at least most of the time. I have my moments when I break down and wonder if I should just go pick out my casket and live the rest of my life on morphine and Cadbury mini-eggs. Then I look at my 4 little boys that need me so much and think, "No, I will fight." I will try my very hardest to "Fear not and doubt not." Heavenly Father is in charge of everything anyway, all of our lives. We never know how many days we have. I am still hoping for a miracle (laugh or roll your eyes if you want, but I truly believe anything is possible). I will try to cherish each day I have and try to stay positive. Jas has learned a lot and could probably run almost everything without me. I will just TRUST that things will work out the way they need to. I've seen many amazing things and have heard of many miracles in my close circles of friends and neighbors. Anything is possible. If you believe, keep praying.