Catch up Pictures of the Day...

Day 57- Davin and Jesse. Davin has always loved babies. Here he is talking to him and laughing with him. I thought it was such a sweet moment.

Day 58- Random, I know. Who takes a picture of their toilet? I guess I do. I thought those soft seats were just for grannies, but when you lose the majority of your fanny, they are AWESOME. Toilet seats are really hard. I installed this padded seat all by myself and it makes sitting on the "throne" so much more bearable.

Day 59- SUNSHINE! Sunshine has been elusive around here so we headed south for a family vacation to find some. The boys are in heaven in the pool. It was so nice to feel the warmth of the sun and to see palm trees!

Day 60- Hiking in Snow Canyon. We decided that a few of us just couldn't handle the hikes in Arches this year so we went to St. George instead. The boys found a little piece of "Arches" in Snow Canyon. There were places to hike and lots of red dirt to get into.

Day 61- Girls Shopping Day. The boys went golfing (and a few of the girls) the other day so today it was the girls turn to get away. We had fun shopping and going out to eat. The Chocolate factory truffles were definitely a highlight of the day, right girls? It is so fun to have sisters!

Day 62- Temple. We wanted to show the kids the temple since it was Sunday and we were heading home. The roses there were amazing! I wish I had a rose garden like that. Thanks Dad and Mom for such an amazing vacation! We love you!

Day 63- New Quilts. Since I just re-did the other boys rooms I thought I'd get new comforters for Davin and Collin too. My mom did the patchwork and her friend Myrna quilted them. They turned out so cute! Thanks guys for doing this for me, we will treasure them.

Easter 2011

Collin coloring his eggs

Love his face as Aaron finds one

The 30" pizza

The whole gang

The boys find their Easter Baskets

I gave each boy and Eric Carle book with a personal note in the front

This was one of our favorite paintings of Christ at the exhibit. The true meaning of Easter.

We had a lot of fun on Easter this year. We hosted the annual event at our home and every one made it really easy for me by all bringing items and then the 30" pizza for lunch fed a large crowd really easily. We let the kids color eggs (and even the older kids loved it) and then we had our traditional egg hunt. The kids had lots of fun. Then we had pizza for lunch and were amazed at how BIG a 30" pizza really was. Some of the kids thought they could tackle a large slice on their own, but didn't quite eat it all. Then we went back and had cookies and brownies and visited. It was lots of fun. Thanks to everyone for making it a great event.

On Sunday morning the kids found their Easter baskets from the bunny and some clothes and treats from Grandma at the foot of their bed. Like I said, we gave them the Eric Carle books. They just seemed fun and "springy" and I wrote a personal note to each child in the front. We went to church and had a nice dinner. It was a great Easter.

"Taken Care Of" Week

Day 50- Carl Bloch. I had wanted to go to this exhibit for a long time. These paintings have never left the churches they were displayed at in Denmark- ever. The museum got special permission to have them here and I wasn't going to miss it. Carl Bloch does the most amazing pictures of Christ. My favorite was him in Gethsemane with the Angel. She had the most beautiful face. They had ipads you could rent to learn more about the paintings and to hear commentary and music. I sat and cried through a lot of it, especially when I heard "Come Thou Fount" on one of the selections. I'm so glad we made the time to see this exhibit. Afterward, we ate at the Museum cafe, which was amazing! We couldn't decide what was the best... The croissant turkey sandwich, the chicken curry salad, the spinach salad with grapefruit and candied almonds or the chocolate marble cheesecake. If you ever see an exhibit at BYU, go eat at the cafe upstairs, you won't be disappointed.

Day 51- Magical Mom Cleaning Fairy. This woman knows how to clean! She scrubbed my bathrooms, mopped, vacuumed and went crazy cleaning my home and making everything "just so". We are totally the same creature and my mom understands how much I love everything to be aesthetically pleasing. I love order and beauty and the smell of a clean house. My mom came down to take care of me and help around the house. She made amazing guacamole (she's trying to put some fat on me) and rubbed my back and feet. What an angel she is! Thanks mom for being there for me. I love you!

Day 52- Friends and Pugs. My friend and college room mate Amy came down to visit with her mom and her pug, Lucy. Nathan adored Lucy and had to get his stuffed "Bronco" out to play with her. Amy and her mom brought tons of fruit and food and goodies for us. It was so sweet of them!! We visited and ate lunch at the PG. It was so fun to let our moms visit and catch up ourselves. Thanks so much for everything, Amy!

Day 53- Follow, follow Me. Jason got his nephew James to mow the lawn for him. As you can see, our boys adore him and want to be big just like him. They followed him around the whole yard "helping" him mow. Thanks James for mowing the lawn before the next rainstorm came.

Day 54- Egg Hunt. We had all the Rhodes cousins over for the annual egg hunt this year. Here is Nathan showing me his finds. It is always to your advantage when you are the youngest. You seem to find the most eggs, which means you also find the most Easter candy! We had a lot of fun coloring and hunting eggs and visiting with everyone.

Day 55- My Boys. Here are the boys and I on Easter morning. Don't they look so cute in their ties? They hunted for their Easter baskets and got fun stuff from Grandma and Mom and Dad. I love that Easter is on Sunday though so we always remember why we really celebrate the holiday. The resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Day 56- Sisters. My sister Britt came down to help me pack for an upcoming trip and to clean anything that needed to be done. She vacuumed my entire house, did dishes and picked up a prescription for me. Nathan was excited to have C.J. to play with all day and Jesse just sat there being cute and content all day. I love my family so much. They take such good care of me. Thanks for everything, Britt! It was so fun to visit and you are the cutest mom ever!!

Highlights...

Day 43- LEGOS. I'm not sure whether I love or hate these little plastic pieces. They keep the boys entertained for long periods of time and they allow them to be creative. On the other hand, eventually you have to pick them up. The best piece of Lego advice I ever got was to put a large blanket down first. Then, when play time is over you scoop up the blanket and dump the Lego's back in the box. Brilliant!

Day44- Chocolate Eyes. I guess I take a lot of pictures of Nathan. He is home with me the most so he often becomes my picture of the day. He just does the cutest things all the time. He was playing with Jason's hat and I couldn't help but get a picture of those chocolate eyes that make me smile.

Day 45- Nathan's Big Boy Bed. I have had this project in the works for a while, but am finally finished. We got a bunk bed for the boys and moved Nathan into his own big boy bed. He was SO excited. I found these darling comforters at Target (yeah Target) and then with a few small changes of paint colors and some new hardware for the dresser, the boys have a new room! I love doing things like this and Nathan is so proud of his new "big boy" status in the family.

Day 46- Guilty Pleasures. One of our employees left and had promised Jason some caramel brownies. I could NOT resist. They were so delicious! Thanks Karissa, you can bake us some of these anytime you want. They made my day for sure.

Day 47- I planted something. Jas was so sweet to fill my square foot gardens with organic soil prep so I could plant my carrots, peas and lettuce. I found these cute plant stakes at Target and labeled each one. It made my day to know I have some little seeds planted and soon I will have something growing in my garden. Spring is really here.

Day 48- Mmmm... Strawberry shortcake. I love this time of year when strawberries are in season. Strawberries with vanilla cake and cool whip, even better.

Day 49- Tournament Winners. This is the Terry family. I chose them out of the families that were nominated as the winners for the annual softball tournament fundraiser this year. My friend Erin wanted to keep it going each year and do the same thing that was done for our family for someone else. Their son Zach, (to the left of me in the picture) has an undiagnosed condition that gives him seizures. The seizures are getting worse and worse as time goes on and most of the conventional doctors they have seen don't know how to treat him. We will be raising money for them to pay for medical costs not covered by insurance and possibly a little vacation as well. It was fun to meet them and we are looking forward to the tournament. Play ball!

Another Week...

Day 35- Ice Cream. It's always fun to go to Grandpa's and Grandma's because they give you treats you don't normally get at home. Nathan came up with me for my MRI and Colonoscopy visits and was spoiled rotten by Grandma and Grandpa. He makes the cutest faces when he does just about anything. He had fun playing with his cousin C.J. while I was at the hospital. Thanks Britt and Dell for taking care of him!

Day 36- Need I say more? Ah yes, what a fun day this was. I couldn't eat any solid food past 7 p.m. on Sunday. It is now Tuesday and I want to eat my own arm off. I am also sick of staring at the walls of the bathroom. I already went into detail about my horrible experience with the colonoscopy so I don't think I need to say anything more.

Day 37- Angel Friends. I came home on Wednesday to find my house spotless and these beautiful flowers on my table. My friends had come over while Jason was at work and I was at my appointments and whipped my house into shape so it would be nice when I got home. My sweet Grandparents also gave me this beautiful blue flower too. Thanks everyone. You brought a little light to my day when I really needed it.

Day 38- He is in control. When I got my MRI results, I cried for about 5 min. and then I was done. I felt "strangely calm" and feel like I am able to put a little more of my burden in His hands. I know He loves me and wants the best for me. I wish I knew what the outcome was going to be, but I keep getting the feeling that it's going to be okay. Not okay like, It will be okay when I die okay, but really okay. I am trying to just TRUST and trust some more and hope that things can turn around for me. He is in control...

Day 39- If you give a 1st grader a mouse... Aaron and Collin have the most amazing 1st grade teacher! They get to take home "mouse" from the book, "If you give a Mouse a Cookie" and record all the things they do that day with him in a journal. They get so excited to bring him home and it's fun to see what they write about.

Day 40- SNOW is a four letter word around here. Can we just have spring yet? This year we have had record snow and have had storms come so late in the season. We will probably have some flooding issues this year. We are all so crazy with spring fever we can hardly stand it! Please come out to stay Sun!

Day 41- Family Time. My family came down to visit and help and we had a gourmet Turkey dinner. That was my idea. It was a bad idea. We had a turkey in the freezer I wanted to use and so I thought it would be easy to just pop that in the oven and then they could bring the sides. After my parents slaved in the kitchen for hours, we had dinner. Pizza would have been so much easier. It was so good though and it was so fun to have them visit. We celebrated Tremayne's birthday too and the kids had fun singing as loud as they could to get a bigger piece of cake.

Day 42- Sisters. My cute sister came to visit and to help today. We sat in the sun on the deck and she helped with the kids. It was fun to visit and have her there. She is such an amazing person. She is generous and can do anything she puts her mind to. I love her so much! Thanks Cass for the fun day!

Spring Break

Day 29- Aquarium. Of course I'd want to go somewhere really warm with a pool for Spring Break, but we opted for a few short day trips with some friends since the weather here is not being very spring-like. We kicked off the break with a visit to the Aquarium. It was a lot of fun. There were sea turtles, sharks, jellyfish and the kids loved the penguins. Aaron was the only kid brave enough to touch the sting ray. The boys made "Flat Stanleys" in their 1st grade class and got to bring them on their spring break adventures. If you look close, you can see Aaron and Collin holding theirs in the picture.

Day 30- Sushi. Earlier in the day we took the kids to an indoor pool with slides and larger pool. The kids had lots of fun, but I was freezing! The water was not very warm and I ran away to the sauna for a while. You'd think they'd have warm showers afterward, right? Nope. Ah ha! I spotted a hand drier! Broken. Aughhhhhh!!! I was so happy to get into my warm clothes! The highlight of the day was going to dinner with just the girls and then shopping afterward. We went to Tepanyaki and Erin tried to get Erika to try Sushi. It was hilarious! Let's just say the sushi never made it all the way down. We laughed so hard. Shopping was so fun too. Gotta love Kohl's discount coupons!

Day 31- Picnic at the Park. I forgot to take a picture for this day... I don't know why. The kids and I headed to visit Grandma and Grandpa. We went to the park and let the kids run and had a picnic. It was fun to just relax and visit with them and let the kids be outside. Aren't my Grandparents the cutest thing you've ever seen?

Day 32- First flower in my Garden. I guess maybe Spring really will get here. At least that's what this Daffodil is telling me. I love bulbs because they just spontaneously come up without me doing anything. I can't wait till my tulips start blooming. I love this time of year!

Day 33- Moto training. Davin loves to ride his motorcycle and Jas set up a little "course" with balls for him to practice tight turns. He's a pretty good rider, I just don't really want him to race. I worry about him getting hurt. Do I sound like a Mom or what?

Day 34- Collin's 1st tooth. Collin was sure he'd never lose a tooth. Aaron had already lost two and he just kept waiting for the day when one of his were loose. Well, the day came. He was so excited to find a gold coin and a teeny, tiny note from the tooth fairy in the morning.

MRI and Colonoscopy Results-

I will post this here because I don't want to re-hash it 45 million times to every person I know.

The colonoscopy was hellish, and that is being mild. The prep was awful and we arrived at the IMC at 9:15 a.m. for my MRI. Well, apparently the Endoscopy Dept and Radiology are on the same floor but even with the X-ray requisition form, the attendant missed noticing that I had an MRI first and I guess we were in the wrong wing of the floor. We waited and waited and there were SO many people there so we just figured they were backed up. I wasn't feeling well and they could see that so they tried to get me back faster. I sit down in the prep room and the nurse says, "Okay, lets get ready for your colonoscopy." I couldn't hold back the tears as I explained I was supposed to have the MRI first. I guess their computers aren't linked and they didn't realize (even with the x-ray requisition on top) that I had two procedures that day. I totally missed my MRI!!! I'm sure they wondered why I was there at 9:30 for a 1:30 colonoscopy. That would be the first clue. We shouldn't have waited so long and verified sooner but we were in the radiology dept, right? Anyway... I wanted to punch someone and cry. All of the nurses were so indifferent and snotty too. One told my mom, "Don't stress over things you can't control." We had one angel nurse that found us a quiet spot to wait while I finished drinking my prep in record time. They rescheduled my MRI for immediately following my colonoscopy. It was one of the worst days of my life. The prep was awful and can you believe that the colonoscopy dept. does not have any Tucks, Prep H, or even Vaseline for a flaming bottom?! Inconceivable. The colonoscopy went well and I was so grateful for sedation since I felt so awful. I hadn't eaten since Sunday night at 7 p.m. It was clear liquids after that and I was SO hungry. (It was now Tues. afternoon) Right after the colonoscopy I went to MRI. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't just been through the ringer but I was still a little sedated, starving, in pain and miserable. The colonoscopy came back great. My colon looks awesome. Yeah. Give me something to EAT!!!! We got out of the hospital as fast as we could. We had been there for about 8 hours total. Ugh. I got a kids meal at Mimi's and it was delicious. Then I paid for it the rest of the night with the worst gas and abdominal pain- ever. I would have rather had a child, seriously. Anyway... that was that. I never want to do that again- ever.

The doctor called with my MRI results yesterday and the news was less than encouraging. My liver is very enlarged and has "innumerable" lesions on it. I have swollen lymph nodes in the abdominal area as well. This is the cause of the distention in my stomach and the fluid retention. I also have a little fluid in my one lung, not sure what that is from. I'm getting the full report sent to me but that's pretty much what he said. I guess it's good there are no tumors in my intestines, kidneys, stomach etc. The pancreas still has no tumor on it but there is tumor pushing right up against it. The only thing I wonder is that they are comparing to an August 2009 scan because that was the last one I had at an IHC facility. The others are at Huntsman. I wonder how it would really compare to the April 2010 one in contrast. It is what it is, I guess.

I am obviously upset and don't know where to turn. I have started a new protocol with high doses of vitamin C, but I've only been doing that for 3 weeks. I guess I will just keep doing what I'm doing and try to hope for the best. Even with the bad results I feel "strangely calm" at least most of the time. I have my moments when I break down and wonder if I should just go pick out my casket and live the rest of my life on morphine and Cadbury mini-eggs. Then I look at my 4 little boys that need me so much and think, "No, I will fight." I will try my very hardest to "Fear not and doubt not." Heavenly Father is in charge of everything anyway, all of our lives. We never know how many days we have. I am still hoping for a miracle (laugh or roll your eyes if you want, but I truly believe anything is possible). I will try to cherish each day I have and try to stay positive. Jas has learned a lot and could probably run almost everything without me. I will just TRUST that things will work out the way they need to. I've seen many amazing things and have heard of many miracles in my close circles of friends and neighbors. Anything is possible. If you believe, keep praying.